Other People´s Definition of it....

It is something about being okay about being outside love, okay about being inside
failure, or at least other people´s definition of it.

If you are always needing to be in the safe, in the warm, in the content I guess there
is always the threat of the worlds intent.

You get ripped apart by your longing, and your longing is what gives life its shape,
its romance, its character. You sacrafice your longing at your peril.

And I can´t be damn well be bothered to justify or compare whatever the hell I am going
through in this moment to the terrors & tyrannies of the world.

It is just what it is, for right or wrong, good or bad. And I feel that we have the right to live, sometimes at least, in our own moment.

Because each of us has our little sacrifices made. Each of us has our compromises. Each
of us has our little lies, our slightly bigger secrets, and our manifold imperfections.

Can you live with the imperfections? Can you thrive in the imperfection?

I don´t give a dam if our bodies are just a conspiracy of sub-atomical primates
plotting together to shape our actions. In fact I am all the better for it because there
is the dam mystery, and there my next dam justification and I will puff gladly on
this cigarette that I am not smoking, and I will look beseechingly at the stars that
I cannot see for a better tomorrow, and if you want to get in the way of these
longings, then dam you to hell with all my other damnations, someone will surely
come to rescue you anyway, but it won´t be me.

And what of forgiveness? Forgiveness for all of those fantasies of wrong doing that
just don´t matter a dam in the smaller or greater scheme of things.

But I heard wisdom once or twice in my life.

And one time it was given to me by an elderly lady, and it was about my relationship
with my father, with whom I managed to some how fall out with nearly 7 years ago
and....not say hardly a dam word since.

And it was just this - the greatest power lies in forgiveness.

And it just resonated.

And in that I knew that not only had I the power of forgiveness, but that I could forgive -
that I wanted to forgive.

Our liberations strike us like claps of holt out of nowhere.

Thank you that Empress. That lady whose so many of miles of journey arrived to help
me for that one moment.

And it just goes to show. When we allow ourselves to be blind to the good that is happening to us amongst the shit - it becomes our own choice to be miserable.

There is just good stuff everywhere, and we choose not to see it.