So

So the world is ending in 2012. So all the doomsday prophecies are right, so all the yea-sayers are wrong, so our aspirations bomb & the worst of every devil has its say. So our pasts haunt us,our futures terrify us, so we don´t know if in love we should be staying or walking away. So we don´t make sense, even though we want the world to understand us, so the only way we can make sense of things is creating fictions rather than engaging in realities. So our potential for poetry is only ever dam well found at the bottom of a bottle and yes seen, sure seen but never remembered. So there is a truth and everyone conned themselves that everything was relative. So you gave in, you let that something pass, and you know that you had a chance even though you can only admit it to yourself when you are goosed and have found yourself waking on the circle line after God Only Knows how many revolutions. So you never, so you always. So you were wronged, so you were never right. So you are a has been, so you are a gonna be, so you are dreamer, so you are a faker. So you never got a chance but never made one, so you had every chance but never took it. So you blew your mind and dehydrated your brain, numbed your senses, danced completely out of time but with such conviction that you scared people. So you longed after everything that moved, so you wondered at every story behind every set of eyes and every doorway. So you wanted to throw yourself from the heights, but couldn´t resist but to stare, and in the beauty found forgiveness, and in the terror apotheosis. So nothing ever really made sense to you but to throw down the gauntlet, to put it on the line. So you say what the fuck, this is the gallery of my life and it is being painted as I walk. So you craved a father´s interest, a mothers touch, and howled in your dreams, and twisted in your stomach, and entered other sides no one would ever really allow you to, just so you could feel that sense of belonging, that sense of return that sense of wonder. So you took the brave call, returned to the wilderness. So you didn´t realize that you would have to stay there ever more, but now that you are in the ever more, find it graceful just that finally you can live with yourself. So that rant never ended and never started, and never threatened to make a thread of sense. So you do believe, so you know what means, so you did fucking glimpse it even for a second. So what? It is in the so-ing and not the what-ing that our lives are lived, our dreams constructed, our legacies made. Get lost in the what and you never get to the so.....