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So

So the world is ending in 2012. So all the doomsday prophecies are right, so all the yea-sayers are wrong, so our aspirations bomb & the worst of every devil has its say. So our pasts haunt us,our futures terrify us, so we don´t know if in love we should be staying or walking away. So we don´t make sense, even though we want the world to understand us, so the only way we can make sense of things is creating fictions rather than engaging in realities. So our potential for poetry is only ever dam well found at the bottom of a bottle and yes seen, sure seen but never remembered. So there is a truth and everyone conned themselves that everything was relative. So you gave in, you let that something pass, and you know that you had a chance even though you can only admit it to yourself when you are goosed and have found yourself waking on the circle line after God Only Knows how many revolutions. So you never, so you always. So you were wronged, so you were never right. So you are a has been, so you are a gonna be, so you are dreamer, so you are a faker. So you never got a chance but never made one, so you had every chance but never took it. So you blew your mind and dehydrated your brain, numbed your senses, danced completely out of time but with such conviction that you scared people. So you longed after everything that moved, so you wondered at every story behind every set of eyes and every doorway. So you wanted to throw yourself from the heights, but couldn´t resist but to stare, and in the beauty found forgiveness, and in the terror apotheosis. So nothing ever really made sense to you but to throw down the gauntlet, to put it on the line. So you say what the fuck, this is the gallery of my life and it is being painted as I walk. So you craved a father´s interest, a mothers touch, and howled in your dreams, and twisted in your stomach, and entered other sides no one would ever really allow you to, just so you could feel that sense of belonging, that sense of return that sense of wonder. So you took the brave call, returned to the wilderness. So you didn´t realize that you would have to stay there ever more, but now that you are in the ever more, find it graceful just that finally you can live with yourself. So that rant never ended and never started, and never threatened to make a thread of sense. So you do believe, so you know what means, so you did fucking glimpse it even for a second. So what? It is in the so-ing and not the what-ing that our lives are lived, our dreams constructed, our legacies made. Get lost in the what and you never get to the so.....

Best Band on the Planet

Back in the Pub in Blighty

‎"Hello Sir, what can I get you".

"I´d like a cup of tea".

"We only do Breakfast Tea mate, none of that green bollocks....."

Great to be back in Blighty!

WikiLeaks & the Potential for New Histories

There are many collective questions being provoked by the WikiLeaks exposures.

How much do we really want to know?

Do we trust our leadership?

What cost for transparency?

The public seems to be buying into the call by government and mass media to stop
WikiLeaks and put Assange on trial.

When a system is under threat, it responds by attacking the assailant.

What is interesting is that it is not only the US government (one senator has
called for Assange´s assassination) who are after Assange.

Even friends of mine on the left, as well as political apathetics seem to have it in for
him.

People identify and believe in the system more than they care to admit at a dinner
party. They are happy to talk anarchical politics but when push comes to shove, and something threatens them - they get afraid. They protect. They yearn to uphold the status quo.

The justifiable problem most people have with the Leaks is with the potential human fall out.

This is without doubt a major concern. For most, the threat to an individual
life is too great a cost for information.. And it is an utterly humane stand point.

Let the state keep its secrets, that is why it is elected after all - to be the custodian of that which we don´t want to know.

But it is also philosophically bankrupt.

The notion that the machinery of the state is fundamentally sound, good or trustworthy is utter nonsense.

These machines have existed in secrecy and all too often without unaccountability for centuries, and you can find then at the heart of every war, assassination, deprivation and torture since time began.

Jesus, the last American administration sanctioned mass torture for crying out loud.

And still we would rather not know.

We rail against Assange because his revelations threaten innocents.

Yet we don´t want to look at our own complicity in the terrible deprivation of things,
upheld by our own votes.

And here is the point for me.

WikiLeaks is not about challenging (necessarily) government. It is about challenging the
the very systems that control government.

Governments come and go, but the state machine - business, the military sector,
the vested interests of the very rich & powerful - stay.

The government is essentially an illusion. It is the mask the devil wears, or the
puppet the puppet master wields.

Julian Assange is not a terrorist and he is not a freedom fighter. He is just a vessel.

The systems which have not been challenged or exposed, or held accountable for
centuries are now having to face up to a new phenomenon.

Our society is porous and the old static systems are under threat from the new
technologies.

Assange is a symptom of this, not the cause. He is just a consequence of evolution.
What he does or doesn´t do someone else will.

And if we believe that there are not misdeeds and manipulations happening behind
close doors, then we are just fools.

New frontiers are opening, and change necessarily means a degree of suffering.

That is not to justify any threat to any human life, how ever could you?

But you have to face the reality of what is happening sociologically.

And if you think that governments are best left to deal with things then you just have
to look at any page in your history manual.

There have been just wars. But so few.

The new world is unfolding before our eyes. It will not collapse under its own weight.
But it will be threatened. And there will be fall out. And there will be casualties.

But the history we come from is not the one that we have to live in. There is the
potential for new, richer histories. Do we have the courage to build them?

There needs to be more openness and accountability. It is the only way that
human greed, vanity, lust and desire for power can ever be held in check.

I am for Julian Assange.

Other People´s Definition of it....

It is something about being okay about being outside love, okay about being inside
failure, or at least other people´s definition of it.

If you are always needing to be in the safe, in the warm, in the content I guess there
is always the threat of the worlds intent.

You get ripped apart by your longing, and your longing is what gives life its shape,
its romance, its character. You sacrafice your longing at your peril.

And I can´t be damn well be bothered to justify or compare whatever the hell I am going
through in this moment to the terrors & tyrannies of the world.

It is just what it is, for right or wrong, good or bad. And I feel that we have the right to live, sometimes at least, in our own moment.

Because each of us has our little sacrifices made. Each of us has our compromises. Each
of us has our little lies, our slightly bigger secrets, and our manifold imperfections.

Can you live with the imperfections? Can you thrive in the imperfection?

I don´t give a dam if our bodies are just a conspiracy of sub-atomical primates
plotting together to shape our actions. In fact I am all the better for it because there
is the dam mystery, and there my next dam justification and I will puff gladly on
this cigarette that I am not smoking, and I will look beseechingly at the stars that
I cannot see for a better tomorrow, and if you want to get in the way of these
longings, then dam you to hell with all my other damnations, someone will surely
come to rescue you anyway, but it won´t be me.

And what of forgiveness? Forgiveness for all of those fantasies of wrong doing that
just don´t matter a dam in the smaller or greater scheme of things.

But I heard wisdom once or twice in my life.

And one time it was given to me by an elderly lady, and it was about my relationship
with my father, with whom I managed to some how fall out with nearly 7 years ago
and....not say hardly a dam word since.

And it was just this - the greatest power lies in forgiveness.

And it just resonated.

And in that I knew that not only had I the power of forgiveness, but that I could forgive -
that I wanted to forgive.

Our liberations strike us like claps of holt out of nowhere.

Thank you that Empress. That lady whose so many of miles of journey arrived to help
me for that one moment.

And it just goes to show. When we allow ourselves to be blind to the good that is happening to us amongst the shit - it becomes our own choice to be miserable.

There is just good stuff everywhere, and we choose not to see it.

She Loves Most Those Who Enslave Themselves To Her

Song is so endlessly fascinating. It is as if it will only show itself to you if you are willing
to live in the cracks, in the places that feels slightly uncomfortable. Only when your perception gets a little skewed, or your life a little upturned does it say, ah yes, here I am again, I have found you worthy.

She is like a siren you can never quite get to, or the mistress without Royal blood.

And when you start living wrong, when you upset her, she just vanishes. No mail or telephone call to check in. Just her presence felt by her absence.

She likes it when you renounce. When you kill distractions. If you chuck out television sets.

She is jealous of all media, but seems to make exception of newspapers. She is utterly fickle,
yet somehow exacting.

And there you have it. She loves most those who enslave themselves to her. And even in that context, if she finds you hollow she gives you nothing. Well, maybe Muzak. But there´s never a shortage of that. One resource that is not peaked.

Humans after all will never run out of shit.